So I always said when I was thinking about having children that I wanted to bring them up, I wanted to be the one that looked after them every day until they went to school. Not that I have anything against mummy’s that go out to work, sometimes it has to be done but luckily for me I could work and bring up Alfie at the same time by Childminding at home. I was never not going to work because one when I was with Alfie’s dad he didn’t have a good enough job to support me and Alfie on just his wage and two I am like you working mums who would go insane not having jam packed day or adult things to do. So for the past nearly three years I me and Alfie have been together every day and its been amazing.

I’ve been able to watch him reach his entire milestone and help him to achieve these, while allowing him to be able to socialize with other children at the same time in a kind of nursery setting at home. I don’t really think Alfie has missed out on going to nursery and the fact that he is very advanced for his age in many ways then one I don’t think that this has held him back at all. That being said he is know turning three and in September the time has come for him to go to pre-school. I knew form day one I wanted Alfie to go to this pre-school so a week after he was born his name was down on there waiting list and can I say the day I receive the phone call asking if I still wanted his space has come around far to fast.

It only seems like yesterday that he was a little baby, how can my little boy be going to pre-school already, this cant be fair. So obviously I told the pre-school that yes I still wanted the place and I would be happy to come to there open day so Alfie could come and have a look around. After this phone call I started to panic, know you mums who take you little one to nursery at 1 are going to think I’m mad, well even I think I’m mad I look after children 6 months and younger but honestly I don’t feel I’m ready to let my little man go he cant be old enough. I do know though that I have to put aside the fact that I’m not ready and focus on Alfie so I brushed off all my feelings and went to tell Alfie.

I told him about his pre-school and the fact that he will be going there with his friends and that he will be staying for lunch, how much fun it would be, which he seemed really excited about until I said about mummy picking him up later. Know this is where it turns bad, he turned to me with a worried expression on his face ad said “no mummy you cant leave me you have to play with me”. Well can I just say this was my worst fear but I put a brave face on and smiled and said you’ll be fine well go see your pre-school and see what you think and go from there, which he was pretty happy about. Me on the other hand was worried from then until the open day a week later. I don’t know how I will handle a screaming Alfie as the pre-school staff drag him off me in tears, how do you mummy’s do it?.

Then came the open day and even thought I was really worried I put on a brave smile told Alfie I promised I wouldn’t leave him there and we went in to have a look around. It was so lovely they had set up toys for the children to play with and tables for the parents to sit at to have a cup of tea and a biscuit, while we filled in forms. Alfie went off to play with the toy happily knowing that I was on the other side of the hall which I was pleased about because I was afraid he wouldn’t even do that. While I was filling in the papers I kept glazing up to see if he was ok and he was happily playing in his own little world. Well while I was sat there minding my own business filling in forms I hear the pre- school teacher coming in and asking Alfie if he would like to go and have a look around with her, straight a way I though you’ve done it know he going to freak out and be sown to my side for the rest of the visit, but then there he went grabbing hold of her hand waving at me shouting “bye mummy I’m going to look at my pre-school with Barbra”. I was shocked to say the least, but relieved and the shocks just kept on coming. Alfie played happily in the pre-school room for a good 20 minutes, not asking for me or wondering once where I was, I was so proud of him that he was so independent and unlike me was sad about leaving me at all. Finally when I went in to go and get him I had to bribe him with an ice cream to get him to come home because he just kept saying you go home mummy and Ill just stay and play here.

I honestly think if he hadn’t acted like that I would be sat here today really worried about him going in September and I would have worried all summer long. I would have been really upset leaving him and found it really hard to drive out of the car park. I still do think I will find that bit hard if I’m honest because even though he’s not bothered I am. Anyway he didn’t stop talking about it for a good week or two and kept asking if he could go back and play, so I was very brave and decided to take the plunge and put him in for one morning a week until the summer holidays. Even though this kills me because really I wish he could stay with me for ever and this is sooner then I was expecting I think I really need to take the bull by it horns and run with the fact that he’s excited about it because if I leave it till September and he forgets it then I might have the problems that I have been dreading all along. So I’m being a brave mummy and Alfie’s first day of pre-school is today. Wish me luck and hopefully I wont be sat on the car park the entire time he’s there.

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